Why “Good Vibes Only” Isn’t Always the Answer (and What to Do Instead)
We’ve all dealt with—those moments when life just sucks.
Maybe you’re overwhelmed at work, dealing with a tough breakup, or just having one of those days where nothing feels right.
And then, instead of getting the support you need, someone tells you to “just stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” Ugh.
While positivity can be great, forcing it 24/7? Not so much. That’s called toxic positivity, and it can actually make things worse instead of better.
Toxic positivity happens when real emotions get brushed aside in favor of forced cheerfulness.
It sounds like “Everything happens for a reason” when you’re struggling or “At least it’s not worse” when you just need to vent.
Even though these phrases might be well-intended, they can feel dismissive—like your feelings aren’t valid or don’t deserve space. But here’s the thing: they do.
We’ve all been conditioned to believe that positivity is the answer to everything. But the truth is, it’s okay to not be okay. Pretending to be happy when you’re actually hurting doesn’t make the pain disappear.
In fact, suppressing emotions can actually make them fester and hit even harder later. Sadness, frustration, anger—these are all normal emotions, and experiencing them doesn’t make you negative. It just makes you human. Giving yourself permission to feel is actually one of the healthiest things you can do.
So, how do we avoid toxic positivity and embrace a more balanced, real approach to life? First, let yourself feel. Instead of forcing happiness, acknowledge what’s really going on. If you’re feeling stressed, say it.
If something hurts, don’t shove it down. Accepting your emotions doesn’t mean wallowing in them forever—it means giving yourself the space to process them and move forward in a healthy way.
Second, be mindful of how you support others. When a friend or loved one opens up, resist the urge to jump straight to silver linings. Instead of saying “At least...”, try “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you.” Sometimes, people don’t need solutions or positivity—they just need to be heard and validated. Listening is one of the most powerful ways to show support.
Third, practice real positivity—the kind that includes honesty. True happiness isn’t about pretending everything is perfect; it’s about embracing life’s ups and downs and knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Instead of toxic positivity, aim for realistic optimism—recognizing challenges while also believing in your ability to get through them.
At the end of the day, you don’t have to put on a fake smile or force good vibes just to make others comfortable. You’re allowed to feel your feelings. You’re allowed to have bad days.
And most importantly, you’re allowed to be human. So next time you’re struggling, give yourself some grace, skip the forced positivity, and focus on what you really need—whether that’s a good cry, a deep conversation, or just some time to process.
Tiana Joelle