Feeling Commitment-Phobic? Let’s Fix That Together!
Okay, be honest—does the thought of committing to something long-term make you sweat?
Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a fitness routine, or even just picking a Netflix series to binge (seriously, why is that so hard?), commitment can feel scary.
But don’t worry, you’re so not alone in this. The good news? You can work through it. And I’ve got tips to help.
Before you can tackle commitment issues, you need to figure out why they exist. Are you afraid of making the wrong choice? Losing your independence? Getting hurt?
Sometimes, commitment fears are tied to past experiences—maybe something didn’t work out before, and now you’re scared to go all in again.
But recognizing what’s holding you back is the first step to overcoming it.
If the idea of a huge commitment makes you panic, start small. Stick to a new habit for a week, say yes to plans in advance, or commit to a short-term project.
Baby steps, girl. Committing to something minor can help build the confidence you need for bigger commitments later.
Another thing? Stop overthinking everything. Not every decision is life or death. Sometimes, we scare ourselves out of committing because we overanalyze every possible outcome.
Try to focus on the present moment instead of obsessing over the what ifs. The truth is, no one has all the answers, and waiting for the “perfect” choice will keep you stuck in the same place.
You also need to start trusting yourself more. A big reason commitment feels scary is that we don’t always trust ourselves to make the right choice. But guess what? Even if you make the wrong choice, you’ll learn, grow, and be just fine. You’re stronger than you think, and no decision is permanent—you always have the power to adjust and pivot if needed.
And let’s talk about perfectionism, because girl, it’s gotta go. Commitment doesn’t mean locking yourself into something that has to be flawless forever. Whether it’s relationships, careers, or personal goals, things will never be 100% certain. And that’s okay! Learn to embrace the unknown instead of running from it.
Speaking of running, do you ever get super excited about something, but the moment it starts feeling real, you want to bolt? That’s commitment fear kicking in! Instead of ghosting your own goals, acknowledge the fear and push through it. Growth happens outside your comfort zone, and the things that scare you the most are often the ones worth pursuing.
Remember, committing to something doesn’t mean you lose your freedom. In fact, the right commitments enhance your life, not limit it. A great relationship should make you feel more like yourself, not less. A new job or passion should give you more purpose, not take it away. When you shift your mindset and see commitment as an opportunity rather than a trap, it changes everything.
At the end of the day, commitment is just a promise to try—not a prison sentence. So stop waiting for the perfect moment, stop doubting yourself, and start saying yes to the things that truly matter to you. You got this!
Tiana Joelle